Jason shot me

Son of a bitch tried to shoot me in the ass.

God damn shot me.

So Jason, who is in the best friend category – but is in danger of being relegated from the group – shot me in the leg. We were visiting Paul and got the air rifle out to shoot some targets. Paul and I decided to have a bit of a mash in the Polaris …

… so we asked the guys to stop shooting whilst we drove down to the bottom of the garden. We drove down, stopped at the gate, I jumped out to open the gate, Paul drove through the gate and then Jaz took aim. Calmly sighted my ass in the telescopic sights and squeezed the trigger of the gas powered air rifle, and motherfucking shot me.

It really hurt. It really really really fucking hurt. It bled. Jaz…shot me….and drew blood.

Sail shade saga rumbles on

As I alluded to in a previous post I’ve been doing my sail shade all wrong. When I initially did the maths to work out where to position the poles to get the appropriate tension on the shade I just always assumed I would be attaching the shade to the poles directly using shackles and turnbuckles and such. This was stupid. Completely retarded.

Anyway, at some point in the past I bought a new sail shade but because I’m a bit of a cretin I bought the wrong size. I never bothered to return it and had a vision of using it as TV screen movie projector thing…anyway, I didn’t do that either. But I finally worked out that with some judicious use of paracord I can suspend the smaller shade between the posts and get it all lovely and taut and centralised.

It was whilst straining to pull the paracord to tighten up the shade I remembered we used to use pulley systems like the one above on my little boat and those pulleys would make this whole sail shade tautening thing much easier. It did…and it’s a thing of beauty.

Look at it – just look at it man – beautiful.

Sail shade saga continues continuing

Emma and I left the sail shade out and failed to notice that we had a load of wind coming. The wind blew, the sail shade whipped around, the pole snapped. It was most definitely not a cool thing. Fortunately my neighbour suggested a quick way to fix it would be to put a post-foot into the concrete and slide the post in. To do this I had to drill some holes in the concrete to fix the post-foot down. My drill burnt out whilst doing this…which meant I had to buy a new drill. It’s a thing of beauty

Then I worked out that I’d been doing the sail shade wrong all these years. I now have a smaller shade rigged up with paracord to tension it. Should have taken a picture of it really!

Oiling the garage

Alan, the very talented chap that built my garage popped around for a socially distanced beer. Whilst he was here he observed that I hadn’t Osram oiled my garage. I had no recollection of him telling me to do this in the past but my memory is pretty bad so he may well have mentioned it. Anyway, long story short – bought some Osram oil and spent a lovely sunny morning oiling the oak.

I think it turned out rather well

Mobile Broadband External Antenna

We used to get fixed line broadband but it was a bit unreliable since the cable comes through a bunch of trees and whenever the wind blew the connection would keep dropping out. Obviously this would not do.

So 3 do a mobile broadband solution for £29 per month. I managed to snag it for £20 a month but this lead to a whole bunch of calls with 3 who insisted on charging me £29 per month…but that is a whole other story!

Anyway, we got a reasonable speed from the 3 router – about 18Mbps down and about the same up I think. But whilst researching why my page loads sometimes stalled I happened across a site where people were discussing their download speeds and some of these dudes were getting 80Mbps. Needless to say, I fancied a bit of that. So I bought myself a Poynting external antenna and sent the boy up onto the roof

Turns out having your son on the roof holding the antenna and just pointing it in random directions didn’t work out too well. So I built myself a little wooden caddy for the antenna and got myself up on the roof with a mobile app that measures all sorts of funky stuff like RSRQ, RSRP, RSSI and most importantly SINR [ Signal to Noise Ratio ]. By some judicial repositioning of the antenna whilst keeping an eye on the SINR mesaure I managed to get this…

Well over double the speed I was getting from fixed line broadband. I’ve since seen it up at 50Mbps – but it all depends on how many people are on that given cell tower. These speeds are with 4G too – when 5G comes along … well

Grasmere and L’Enclume

For Emma’s birthday we dumped the kids on Granddad John and shot up to the Lakes for the weekend. All was lovely. We did a bit of eating and drinking at L’Enclume

Did a bit of walking around Grasmere…

and generally had a groovy time.

Storm Dennis

My dear friend Aggy had a rather big birthday this year so we decided we’d head over to Snowdonia and climb https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crib_Goch. Storm Dennis, however, had other ideas.

For our weekend of near death experiences we stayed in this luxurious mountain retreat.

Storm Dennis meant that climbing Crib Goch was a really really really bad idea. So we did a bit of a hike up to a hydro electric reservoir dam type thing and got properly … properly soaked

Everything that I was wearing that I thought was waterproof, absolutely wasn’t.

Yes, those are white-capped waves on a lake. It was blowing a right gale! At one point I had to sit on the ground for fear of being blown over.

After getting to the reservoir thing we made the right decision and walked back to the car, got warmed up and went to the pub.